The Ride

I wrote this poem the other day. Tell me what you think:

An emotional roller coaster
Up high and down low
Real fast and real slow
Giving smiles and shedding tears
Living dreams and fighting fears
Having love and given hate
Accepting failure and being great
Trying to live and doomed to die
Burying truths and portraying lies
Defining real and living fake
Gratefully give and deal the take
Blooming glories and shadowing sins
Beautiful losses and disastrous wins
Burning haste and glowing tenacity
Scarringly trapped and revivingly free
Assuming calm and bottling emotion
Swallowing guilt and showing devotion
Knowing this day could be the end
So going out to make amends
And moving on without a doubt
Taking a change to let it all out
The ride goes on forever and ever
Yet somehow seems to make things better

Hope you like it

Success

Let's see if I can get this to make sense, okay?

Let me start with a quote: "We work all day doing something we don't like to do to earn money to buy stuff we don't need."
This might be a harmless-looking quote, but at least to me it has a lot of meaning. It means we do all these jobs, especially ones we absolutely hate, just so we can earn money to buy things like iPads, cars, Tv's, and more. Sure, its to pay the bills, too, I know that. But how many of those bills are for.. cable, car payments, furniture payments, memberships, warranty payments, etc.? How many of those "necessary bills" that need to be paid aren't really necessary? We don't need TV's, IPads, heck we don't even need cars honestly. Yet all these things we buy all stack up payments, therefore we need a job that pays more, and that might mean sacrificing our happiness. All we really need in life, honestly, is a house, a family, and food and water. Truly, that's what we need to live. So is it really worth it? Working all day, maybe all night, just to pay for all these extras in our life. Yeah, I know they're supposed to give us happiness, but if it means sacrificing that happiness for almost the whole day, then maybe it's not worth it.

And I don't mean the happiness that you get from playing on the computer, from watching TV, or driving around in a hot red sports car. I mean the pure happiness, the purest of it all. The happiness you get from...  doing what you love to do. That feeling of knowing you're good at something, and you get to display it. And of course, I mean the happiness from the people around you. Your mother, father, sister, brother, best friend, boyfriend/girlfriend. That kind of love. Because it's the most important thing. When you die, you don't get to  bring your Ipod, your car, any of that with you. You get to bring what's inside you. So if you fill your life with emptiness, that's what you'll leave with. If you fill it with love, it will come with you.

So, because of that first quote, I've determined, honestly? I don't want to be successful if it means doing something I don't enjoy. I would rather live in a little tiny house with the bare necessities if it meant I got to listen to music and write and help other people every single day, than living in a big ol' mansion with loads of money and stuff by being, say, a surgeon and not enjoying it. Because I don't want to be a surgeon, I want to be a writer. And if I don't get to write, then I'm not happy. And I don't believe there's a point in living if you're not gonna be happy. I understand that at some point, I will need to find a job, and I might not like it, because I will need food and a home and such. But if I don't get the chance to do what I love, then it's not worth it.

The point of being successful is to have money and to have a reputation. Well, I don't want a reputation if it means I'm not happy. I don't want people telling me what to do either. I know myself better than anyone else does, and I won't let them make my decisions for me. They can help me make them, but they can't do it for me. I know my family and friends just want me to be successful, but I want to be happy. We're all only going to be living on this planet once, so instead of wasting it away for a reputation, make it worth while by being happy and proud of who you are. And you never know when it's your time to leave. So instead of holding off on your dreams, postponing for a later time, go after it now. So even if you don't get to it before you die, you can leave this place knowing you at least tried.

Hope you get it, and I hope you see my perspective on this. I know I might have some flaws in my beliefs, but it's what I stand for, and I hope you understand that

Amaryllis

Adrenaline: When I just want to give up, take a break, rest, Adrenaline gets me back on my feet. Motivates me to push a little harder, go a little farther, and not give up until I'm satisfied.

Bully: Have I ever been bullied? Yes, in a non-direct way. It was done discreetly, verbally. And I let them get away with it. Am I a bully? I hope not. I don't think I am.

Amaryllis: Where do I belong in this world? Who am I, and what is my destiny? Who do I want to be, where do I want to go, what do I want to accomplish in my life?

Unity: We are stronger together, therefore we should stand as one. For those of us who all have something in common, let's all pull together and fight for it. Fight for our beliefs and what we stand for. The tighter we pull together, the stronger we are.

Enemies: To those out there who hate me, deal with it. I am who I am and if you don't like it, then fine. I don't intend to make enemies, in fact I hate making enemies and upsetting people, but I guess if you don't like me then you'll have to deal with it.

I'm Not Alright: Completely insane, yet happy with the person they are. Not giving a care in the world what others think. Yes, I believe in that. But do I follow that? Do I not care what people think of me? Or do I change parts of me and fix myself up so that it's suitable for the people around me? Do I care too much of other people's judgement?

Nowhere Kids: I am a victim of social media. I will admit it. I'm not always happy with that, though. I do think it's taking us over and brainwashing our generation, and I do my best to balance it out. I can't go completely without it, but I can lessen it. Either way, at the end of the day, my absolute best friend will always be a pen and paper.

Miracle: An emotional rollercoaster. Up and down, high and low, fast and slow. Smiles and tears, dreams and fears, all in about 4 minutes. It makes me love more than anything else, and at the end of the day, I realize love's the most important thing. And I love the ones around me, closest to me, the ones that will be there for me forever and always.

I'll Follow You: Who will I fall in love with? Who can I always trust with my secrets, my wishes, and my deepest, lowest thoughts? I can wait for the one who can give me that. The one that will follow ME down into the storm.

For My Sake: For the people who I once thought were my friends, my allies, I could trust. The ones that lied to me, I'm moving on. You're not worth it anymore. Thank you for making me stronger, but you're not for me.

My Name (Wearing Me Out): Your words of hate and sorrow and pain, they don't mean anything to me. They might have used to, but not anymore. I'm good at tuning out those words and determining what I want. I like who I am, and the words you associate to my name are wrong. They're your opinions. But I know who I am and I'm happy with that.

Through the Ghost: Stuck in a mist of sorrow, sadness, regret and depression, I know there's a better place. I have to push myself forward to that place, because it's where I want to be. Happy, strong with my head high up. I can be the girl I want to be, because I love myself.

These are my thoughts during each of the Shinedown songs on the album Amaryllis. If you weren't able to figure it out. :)

Let People Be Themselves

I would like to take a moment to appreciate that group of awesome friends that you have, that group that talks about anything and everything, everyone has their own opinions, and yet they can still all agree on certain topics. I have a group of friends like that, and even though I've never met them in person, I must say they're pretty cool.
For example. One person posted this in our Facebook Group last night:

With the post, "People like this make me fear for the future of humanity." And this started a discussion between some of us on our opinions. I had to copy and paste it here because I thought it fit the theme of what my blog is perfectly. So here was our discussion.

Jess:  ‎-loses faith in humanity once again- e.e

Cornell:  People amaze me sometimes... Its not so much the man that bothers me (well he bothers me too, but), its the fact that the congregation sounds like they're supporting what he says. That means that the majority of the people he's teaching agree that you should "punch the gay out of your children."

Ashley:  I don't enjoy being punched..

Jess:  That is so wrong to say the least. Let the kids alone. It's their lives and their choices to make, not the parents. I'm a tomboy and there is nothing wrong the way I am. I don't like being girly at all and if people have a problem with that, too bad so sad just deal with it.

Cornell:  Yeah, I personally tend to like tomboy-ish girls more than girly girls. It would suck for me if dudes like this forced all women to be girly girls. I completely agree that you need to let people be who they are.

Jess:  Thank you Cornell :D

Tiffany:  ‎.-. This fuckery.

Allie:  That is pathetic

Katherine: I don't get why those people would even laugh at this, it isn't funny. People are who they are, that's what makes everyone unique in their own way. Why would you force you're son to do something like that is he doesn't want too? >.> Some people hate how I dress like a girly girl, and look girly girl and stuff, and act more guy-ish. Deal with it, this is who I am.

Katherine:  They shouldn't force someone to be something they aren't.

Allie: Me too Jess. Hell I just watched Iron Man for God's sake. That's the epitamy of non-girliness. I do not like being a girly girl I will do as many boyish things as I like. And everyone else should have that option. Like y'all said its the kid's life not the parents. It doesn't matter who they are or what they do they're human and theyre their own person and they can make their own choices and be the person they want to be.

Jess:  WHO CARES what other people think. Do WHAT makes YOU happy. If they don't like it tough.

Allie:  I could go on all day about this. This is probably the number one thing I stand for for more than anything else

Allie: People should be allowed to be the kind of person they want to be. Honestly, I know parents want their kids to be successful and blah blah blah. But honestly, I don't want to be successful if it means doing something I dont want to do. I'm only going to live on this planet once and I'm going to do so by doing what I want to do. I don't care if I end up living on the damn streets honestly. If it means I can do the things I want to do then damnit I'll do it. I dont care about surviving or fitting in or being successful. I just want to be happy with my life and what I'm doing with it

Cornell:  You know, I'm a fairly religious person. But I still don't agree with the idea that religion equals destroying homosexuality. In my opinion, if the person is born that way; if their brains are wired in such a way as to make them think in a "homosexual manner," then how can you judge them? Aren't they G-d's creations as well? Surely G-d knew what he was doing when he made their minds. So in my opinion, by saying that these people are wrong, pastor's like this are essentially saying that G-d made a mistake. And there's my religious perspective on it. :P

Allie: Everyones entitled to their own opinion. And they have every right to live by it. I believe in religion to a decent point. But I don't have one set religion. Because some things I don't believe in in one. And in others there are somethings I believe in. People are too tight about old ways and such sometimes. They don't realize that the world is changing. An with it are the people. And our beliefs

Katherine: I would consider myself agnostic, but there are certain things from some religons I believe. So I don't know what I would consider it to be.

Allie:  Can someone copy and paste all this into a document and email it to me? I want to put it on my blog. Not that anyone reads it but it fits the theme of it perfectly and I wanna post it

Cornell:  I love the fact that despite our differences we all agree on stuff like this. :D

I'm Allie, so you know what my opinions are. And it's true. Letting people be themselves is the one thing I stand for more than anything else. Because people should be allowed to choose how they want to live their lives. If they're enjoying it, then that's all that matters.

Hope you enjoy, and you agree with us.